Nurse Pre-Vacation Syndrome

Diagnosis: Nurse Pre-Vacation Syndrome (NPVS)

Etiology: Co-dependence, inadequate toilet training

Signs and Symptoms:

*Delusions that one's patients will probably die if you leave them in the care of others

*Possibly realistic fears that paperwork and charts on your desk will mate and multiply in your absence

*Memories of previous vacations in which said vacation was spent recovering physically and emotionally from the amount of preparation needed in order to take a vacation in the first place

*Resentment of co-workers who are not about to go on vacation

*Feeling like this will be the last vacation you will ever take "because taking a vacation is too much work"

*Already planning what you will do when you return to work

*Inordinate amount of time spent on Mapquest

*Distractedly gazing out the window

*Telling your co-workers that they can call you on your cell-phone with questions about difficult patients while you're away

*Lottery fantasies

Treatment/Goals:

1) More frequent vacations (practice makes perfect)

2) Re-read Codependent No More

3) Leave cell-phone at home "accidentally"

4) Take even more vacations

5) Quit your job

6) Read Codependent No More again


Prognosis: Especially good if you adhere to treatment goal #1.