tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246967.post6994141494452153231..comments2024-02-22T04:07:33.179-05:00Comments on Nurse Keith's Digital Doorway: A Hero's DayKeith "Nurse Keith" Carlson, RN, BSN, NC-BChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03581947410641941224noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246967.post-45078131267351614512007-01-20T16:34:00.000-05:002007-01-20T16:34:00.000-05:00Christian, your comment is taken in the spirit it ...Christian, your comment is taken in the spirit it is offered, and I appreciate your thoughts and comments. <br /><br />You are very right that I still need to work on forgiving myself. I am the first person that I write for, and I need to continue to try to take my own counsel. <br /> <br />A hard thing is that Woody called us from the church where he was killed on someone's cellphone and we were not home. While our outgoing message was playing, the cops burst in and shot him 7 times. This left two minutes of his agonizing screams and yells of "help me!" and "I love you" on our answering machine. It has been a difficult cross to bear and five years have passed now. I think I can begin to let go of my guilt that I was not home to answer his call for help. Forgiving the cops is harder, although I see their humanity and know that they too have suffered in their own way. The most maddening thing is the cover-up that happened without consequences for those involved. Luckily, a documentary film is being made about Woody's death and a great deal of the truth will emerge at the time of its release. <br /> <br />I feel that one of my greatest triumphs in this life will be forgiving those who killed my friend. I do not see it as an impossible task and hope that I will one day be able to say that it is a reality. For now, I do my best to first forgive myself.Keith "Nurse Keith" Carlson, RN, BSN, NC-BChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03581947410641941224noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10246967.post-63331166955840998892007-01-17T06:54:00.000-05:002007-01-17T06:54:00.000-05:00Wow. This is pretty deep, the revealing of one's ...Wow. This is pretty deep, the revealing of one's plaguing demons. As a reader of your blog for the past couple years, I've read the vitriol you continue to harbor toward the person who took your friend's life. I might offer this bit of insight to your pain -- and in no way would I even pretend to minimize your hurting: <br /><br />as a human in the healing/nurturing profession, you see others squander their god-given lives with drugs and other means of self-destruction. They do this wantonly, as if life holds no meaning. To you, life is something to celebrate. That Woody's life was taken, perhaps, by one of these who hold no respect for life -- and which flies in the face of everything you believe -- it became a personal act. Not only against your friend, but against you. Not being a psychologist, but a student of human nature, I would say: it's not about you. As long as you hold tight to the personal affront that was his death, you will never be able to forgive...not only the misguided person who murdered him, but yourself as well, for not being able to prevent his demise. Can you forgive yourself?<br /><br />Sorry, Keith. I don't mean to preach. But this post reached out to me, and elicited this response. I wish you well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com