stul·ti·fy, tr.v. stul·ti·fied, stul·ti·fy·ing, stul·ti·fies
To render useless or ineffectual; cripple.
To cause to appear stupid, inconsistent, or ridiculous.
This is the word that came to mind tonight as I sat down to write. A paralyzed feeling pervades this evening. It's like moving through molasses; the senses, mind, and reflexes dulled.
A fire burns in the woodstove. The dogs and Mary nap in its glow. The house is quiet, the gathering darkness outside embracing our home. We are sheltered, well-fed, clothed and warm. These feelings of depression are not warranted by my circumstance, yet here they are. I can choose to use the power of the mind to confront and dispel the veil which separates me from the world. As a caregiver, I so wish for the healing of others. Now I long for my own healing and recovery.
This too shall pass.