Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Peregrinations

The word "peregrination" came to me out of the blue tonight during dinner. Mary took me out to a fancy dinner to celebrate the end of my first year of teaching. A grand treat!

So, what does "peregrination" mean? I turned to my friend, dictionary.com, and discovered that it means "To journey or travel from place to place, especially on foot; to travel through or over; traverse." Hmm. My loosely associating mind then took a few of its own peregrinations to find a causal link. "PeregrinTook", a hobbit character from the Lord of the Rings first came to mind, then came the peregrine falcon.

After some ruminating, I realized that this term simply relates to my personal journey, the one that began so long ago as I traversed the birth canal. Through the many trials and tribulations of my forty years on earth (this time around, anyway), I find myself here again, each day just another step along the peregrinating (yes, that's actually a word, but possibly very poor usage on my part) trail.

Today I complete the relatively short journey of teaching a group of 25 individuals as much about nursing as I can in nine months. Nine months, eh? An apt amount of time for the germination of many things....This is a peregrination of sorts, one which is more like a sidebar, a short time off the main trail, just to see what it's like on a different path. It was an interesting path, and I may traverse it again, perhaps. It left some notable dust on my shoes.

Meanwhile on another path, yesterday I had the distinct pleasure of meeting with a psychiatrist whom I have chosen to see for a while in the interest of my medico-psychological health. His Scottish accent and good eye contact put me at ease. We can work together, it's clear. I choose to share this here because alot of what this blog is about is transparency---my transparency---to the extent that I'm willing to divulge my personal life to anyone who happens to surf by, whether by chance or design. My choice to use antidepressants is another tributary of my identity, and it informs a great deal of who I am in the world and my relation to it. For me to function in this fast-paced and overstimulating world, pharmaceutical support is priceless.

Another path is that of my chosen work. This path leaves more than dust on my shoes. It can often be a cloud of dust enveloping my very sense of self. I cross paths daily with souls greatly damaged by trauma, disease and disenfranchisement. Such is the environment in which I choose to dwell from nine to five.

So, peregrination it is. We are all doing it, even when standing still.
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